Phase 5
The default word is acceptance. For what it is, for what it will be. But I don't agree completely because it's too passive a word; implying something tolerated, or against my otherwise will or preference. And that's just not the case. I set out to stand here, exactly.
So I suppose instead I'll call this phase belief. Nothing passive about belief. It's a conscious decision made. An investment of feelings and thoughts. It's an action and not a result of something inflicted or interjected most inconveniently into a life.
A belief is chased down and caught. It is a product of effort and the byproduct of faith fused by the consistency of experience. This is accurate. This is what I feel. Phase 5 then, is belief.
1. Relief, 2. Transition, 3. Vulnerability, 4. Paranoia, 5. Belief.
These are the five stages (at least as I've lived them) of tapering for the most monumental race of my life.
Logically, in this phase, I asked myself what I believe. What have I worked to know and to trust and to build upon? And most importantly, why will I need these things at Ironman?
No matter what, I believe that happiness is a product of progress and/or perspective. Measurable growth, and in the absence of it, the knowledge that it still exists in the grand scheme of the situation. In this mix, I suppose perspective can be called faith. This is important because if I lose sight of my happiness on that course in seven days, I will have faith that it hasn't lost sight of me. That it will be just a matter of time before it comes back to me...10 minutes to the other side of the Prozac patches. Always.
I believe that I will not be out there alone. There will be friends out there with me whom I've actually met and are physically there, and friends I have never met or aren't physically there (but who are no less close to me, and in some cases, even more).
I believe that I've earned my place; that I have the right to stand next to the other athletes in Madison, Wisconsin on September 10th, and to race with them as one of them.
I believe that no matter how the day turns out, it is mine forever, so I will make the best of it throughout it.
I believe I finally understand that what I've been chasing all these years are my limits. I haven't yet found them, and I hope to God I never do.
I believe that anyone can do anything they choose to do if they do not sleep with excuses, and if they are passionate enough about what they want to hang onto it no matter how hard it gets to ride.
Anything is possible if you believe.
So I suppose instead I'll call this phase belief. Nothing passive about belief. It's a conscious decision made. An investment of feelings and thoughts. It's an action and not a result of something inflicted or interjected most inconveniently into a life.
A belief is chased down and caught. It is a product of effort and the byproduct of faith fused by the consistency of experience. This is accurate. This is what I feel. Phase 5 then, is belief.
1. Relief, 2. Transition, 3. Vulnerability, 4. Paranoia, 5. Belief.
These are the five stages (at least as I've lived them) of tapering for the most monumental race of my life.
Logically, in this phase, I asked myself what I believe. What have I worked to know and to trust and to build upon? And most importantly, why will I need these things at Ironman?
No matter what, I believe that happiness is a product of progress and/or perspective. Measurable growth, and in the absence of it, the knowledge that it still exists in the grand scheme of the situation. In this mix, I suppose perspective can be called faith. This is important because if I lose sight of my happiness on that course in seven days, I will have faith that it hasn't lost sight of me. That it will be just a matter of time before it comes back to me...10 minutes to the other side of the Prozac patches. Always.
I believe that I will not be out there alone. There will be friends out there with me whom I've actually met and are physically there, and friends I have never met or aren't physically there (but who are no less close to me, and in some cases, even more).
I believe that I've earned my place; that I have the right to stand next to the other athletes in Madison, Wisconsin on September 10th, and to race with them as one of them.
I believe that no matter how the day turns out, it is mine forever, so I will make the best of it throughout it.
I believe I finally understand that what I've been chasing all these years are my limits. I haven't yet found them, and I hope to God I never do.
I believe that anyone can do anything they choose to do if they do not sleep with excuses, and if they are passionate enough about what they want to hang onto it no matter how hard it gets to ride.
Anything is possible if you believe.
posted by Wil at 12:01 AM
16 Comments:
OK, I look at this, almost as an opportunity, but not as much as I look at it as "wow".
As I look at nearly every time I read what you have written.
This time I happen to be the first to respond, but the first of those who love you, and the last one who really deserves to babble at you at this point in your journey.
All I can really say, is, as always, from my heart.
You "win" no matter what, for me. You are "iron" in so many ways, for me.
And I pretty much tear up, every time I read about your journey these days.
I think about all of those people who are just "getting by", and then I think about you.
I think about myself and so much more that I could / should be doing...I think about everyone else who could / should be doing more with what God has given them and it makes me sad.
But then I think about you, and all of those who are on this journey with you, and it renews my faith in humankind.
Thank you to all of you.
Leddy, I LOVE YOU!!!!!
I can't wait to come and see you this spring my amazing friend! Thank you for everything you are for me...which is so much more than you know :)
It reads like the Credo. Beautiful.
See you soon.
WOW! Great post! I really dig this one. One of the hardest things about IM, I think, is that there's likely going to be something that takes place that is outside your control or that doesn't happen quite the way you want it to. And there is nothing you can do about it but to roll with the punches and accept that you're going to get whatever you get. So you have to accept that you're a part of this thing and that you're going to be at the course's whim that day (not easy from someone that has OCD!). But as a part of that, to believe that you've done everything possible for the past year to being yourself to the finish line that day.
Belief is HUGE! You likely haven't done 140.6 miles yet in one day. But you've done SOOOO much more than that throughout the year. Be confident in your training and that it'll get you across the finish line. You *have* done the work. The race, while in itself hard, is your time to enjoy all that hard work you've put in.
You're gonna do great and I'm so psyched for you! See you later *this week*! :)
You’re writing as always is awe-inspiring as is this quest of yours. When you are on that hill in Madison, you’re tired, your legs burning, think of us out here in blogger land. We will help push you over the top as you have pushed many of us to be part of something greater than ourselves. Thank you and good luck!
Wow, what a great way to start the day! Such great words in your post today and iron-mark stated awe-inspiring! You have set my day up for training, as I was beginning to think of other things to do instead. Thanks Wil, meeting people like you make the sport of triathlon a place to call HOME.
Peace.
Once again, you brought tears to my eyes. In so many ways I feel like I'm following in your footsteps - nothing more than a happy accident, a fluke in the timing of the fruition of our mutual neuroses, but one I no less appreciate. I can only hope that, when I'm ready, my Iron journey is as wonderful (and inspires as much brilliant writing!) as yours.
See...that's why I'm so glad we're in this together.
See you soon!
Mind over matter really does count for the day you are about to experience....(and I guess that falls in with believing).
There is no room for the word "doubt" on an IM course!
Have some fun too while you are out there...just revel in the moment...look around...absorb it all. Smile! It's going to be a great day!
we're all here cheering for you, becuase anything IS possible, and your journey helps us to live that way too.
You are just an inspiration, with all of the hard work you have already done and with the great things I know you're going to accomplish! I can't wait to read that race report, you give me the ability to dream that some day I might achieve things that are beyond my reach right now but on the horizon. Best wishes for the rest of taper week and with the race.
Our hearts are with you, Wil. We believe in you, and we believe in ourselves. You have indeed shown us that we are capable of more than the simple stagnating life we have allowed ourselves to fall into. Rock on, Wil. Rock on!
You put tears in my eyes.
nice post Wil,
When I get down on myself I sometimes believe that nothing is possible. I snap out of it with a saying from a friend who told me:
everything is possible, and possible is everything
Good luck!
I believe you will have an amazing day next Sunday. Can't wait to see you out there on race day.
Beautiful post!
Post a Comment
<< Home